A Hrary Ptoter Sorty A Harry Potter Story
by Irish Bug
Summary: OK, I don't know how to write a summary for this. A psycho story that my friend and I wrote. Do not read if you don't approve of gay, bi, or lesbian.... Uh, heh heh.... 7 UP
1. It all begins

A/N: OK, this is a very strange story. If you do not approve of gay people or lesbianism, DO NOT READ. Now, mind you, my friend and I are insane, and when we get bored on harrypotter.com, things can go crazy.. Now, chapters are short and we write them in turn. For example, she wrote chapter one, I wrote chapter two, she wrote chapter three, I wrote chapter four, and so on and so forth. Anyway, Here's the story you clicked on the link to read!  
  
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Chapter One: By Nurgon Frostfire  
  
Harry awoke one morning to feel his scar hurting. He bolted upright in bed.  
  
"Voldemort must be planning something.." He said quietly to himself. "I wonder what it is."  
  
He got out of bed and tiptoed downstairs to the living room where the phone was. He picked up the receiver and dialed a number. A few seconds later a voice recording answered the phone. It said:  
  
"Good evening and thenk you for calling Death Eaters Annonomous. If you'd like to speak to Voldemort press one. For a list of Death Eaters, press 2.."  
  
Harry quickly pressed one and waited. It rang and rang. Finally a person picked up the phone.  
  
"Voldemort's house, Death Eater Three speaking. How may I help you?"  
  
Harry gasped and was silent for a moment. "I'd like to speak to Voldemort please," He finally managed to say.  
  
"One moment," said the person. Harry heard the phone being set down and then a knock on a door.  
  
"What is it?" Called a high pitched man's voice, "Didn't I say to never bother me while I was painting my toenails!?!" The voice demanded. Now Harry could hear the death Eater say that he had a phone call. Suddenly the sound of someone running was heard and the phone was picked up. This time, though, it was the man with the high pitched voice that spoke into the phone.  
  
"Is this my favorite sexy red-headed Weasley calling me? Ronnikins, is this you?" 


	2. The Truth Is Out

A/N: OK, these chappies go up one after another, because I'm typing them all up at the same time! Anyway, this is chappie two, by me. The next few chappies will be up first thing, but after a few we'll have to start writing them and posting them and stuff. Anyway, here goes..  
  
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Chapter Two: By Pypinyea J. Goodchild  
  
Harry stared at the receiver, as Voldemort continued to ramble on.  
  
"Ronny? Is it you? Or is it Kelly from the pet store? Is my little Foofoo OK?"  
  
Harry made a face of disgust, slammed the phone down on the reciever, ran upstairs, got his quill and ink and began scribbling a letter.  
  
'Ron, I just called Death Eaters Anonomous, and I talked to Voldemort, and he's in love with you! He called you "His favorite sexy, red-headed Weasley"! Ron, I'm about to blow chunks!'  
  
He attached it to Hedwig and sent it out. A few days later, Hedwig returned with the reply from Ron. Harry opened it, expecting a disgusted note.  
  
'Yes, Harry, I am fully aware of that. We have been lovers all Summer. We are expecting the baby on Sunday. No, just trying to scare you, gay people can't have babies. Well, see you later then.'  
  
Harry stared blankly at the note, before shredding it, burning it, and burrying it in the flowers.  
  
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Harry sat in his room one day, staring at the ceiling, barfing every once and a while, when an owl flew in with a frilly pink letter. He opened up the envelope and the letter read:  
  
'You are cordially invited to Lord Voldemort's Birthday Bash on Friday, September seventh. There will be cake, ice cream, candy, party favors, pin the tail on the donkey, and make out rooms. Please try to come. It will be held at the Death Eaters Annonomous Headquarters.'  
  
Harry stared at the letter, quickly picked up the phone, and dialed Death Eaters Annonomous. He pressed one to talk to Veoldemort. An automatic recording says "Hold please." 'Bad to the Bone' begins playing. Harry begins singing with the phone on speaker.  
  
"Hello?" Came Voldemort's voice suddenly. Then he heard Harry. "Harry? Are you RSVPing to my party?"  
  
"Uh.." Harry muttered, "Yes." And he hung up the phone.  
  
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A/N: OK. this story is really strange, but it's really fun. Anyway, I'm gonna type the next chappie now.. 


	3. Sick and Short

A/N: OK, here goes another chappie by Nurgon. This is where it starts getting really strange.. And it's extremely short. I told you, all of them are. It also skips most of the rest of Summer. Let's just say that he's made no contact with Ron, and he barfs a lot everyday, OK?  
  
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Chapter Three: By Nurgon Frostfire  
  
Harry used Floo Powder to get to Death Eaters Anonymous. There Harry saw all of the Death Eaters. A few minutes after he arrived, the lights went out and a giant birthday cake was wheeled into the room. As son as Voldemort blew out the last candle, Ron jumped out of the cake. Harry just sat with a mixed look of terror and disgust on his face as he watched his best friend stand in front of Voldemort in a pink fuzzy thong. Harry then turned around, unable to look at Ron, who was now giving Voldemort a lap dance.  
  
When Harry turned around, he saw something he never wanted to even think about:  
  
Ron and Voldemort disappeared into the make-out room.  
  
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Told you it was very short. See, these chappies were written for harrypotter.com, which, in that case, you have to have short chapters. I dunno why, that's just the way it is. 


	4. On The Teacher's Desk

A/N: OK, so this chappie is weirder. I would like to thank Julian for the title of this chapter.  
  
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Chapter Four: By Pypinyea J. Goodchild  
  
In a few days, Harry returned to Hogwarts, disgruntled, disgusted, and disturbed. He tried to keep away from Ron, but he wasn't getting the point that Harry didn't want to be friends with his worst enemy's boyfriend.  
  
"Ron," said Harry one day. "See, I don't want to be friends with Voldemort's boyfriend. Woah, that sounds strange. Well, you can't be my friend and love my worst enemy at the same time."  
  
"Fine!" Yelled Ron, "I thought you'd understand!" And Ron turned and stormed off.  
  
Harry felt so distressed. That after a while he went to talk to Dumbledore. He spoke the password and headed up the staircase. But when he got to the top, he didn't like what he saw.  
  
Dumbledore and Ron were on top of the desk, making out.  
  
"RON!" Yelled Harry. Ron and Dumbledore looked up. "Not only are you my worst enemy's boyfriend, but you're cheating on him. with DUMBLEDORE!"  
  
"Well, you see, Harry," Said Ron, getting down off the desk, "I like older men."  
  
"Older men!? What the hell!?"  
  
"Are you calling me old, Ronnikins?" said Dumbledore.  
  
"AH!" Yelled Harry, "And they all call you Ronnikins! You PLAYER!"  
  
"Draco doesn't call me Ronnikins."  
  
"Draco too! I thought you liked older men!"  
  
Dumbledore cleared his throat.  
  
"No offense."  
  
"I do like older men, Harry. I just think Draco has a cute little butt."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAH!" Harry screamed, ran out of the office, tripped, and was unconscious.  
  
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Yeah, that one was strange.. The next chapter is longer than these past four. Here we go.. 


	5. Of Luke and Lestat

A/N: OK, here's the longer chapter. Firstly, though. This chappie reminded me that we need a disclaimer. So, here it is!  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter. We also do not own Lestat, he belongs to the author of his book, as does Harry and other characters. OK, there, are you happy now?  
  
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Chapter Five: By Nurgon Frostfire  
  
When Harry awoke the next day, he was told to go directly to the Headmaster's office. He went up, but walked as slowly as possible until he reached the gargoyle, which jumped aside before Harry could see anything. Harry walked upstairs into Dumbledore's office. But who he saw wasn't Dumbledore.  
  
"Voldemort?!?!" Harry asked in surprise.  
  
"Yes, Harry, it's me. Please sit down so we can talk." Said Voldemort, as he put the cap back on the bottle of neon pink nail polish he had been using.  
  
"Perfect.." He said aloud to himself, looking at his fingernails. Then he looked up at Harry. "Harry, there's something you should know. I'm your-"  
  
"OMG. You're my father!?!?"  
  
"NO! That's not what I was going to say. Harry, I'm your." ---------- *Dramatic pause*---------- "Cousin's, sister's, brother's, mom's, uncle's, poodle named Billybobjoedebbiefrank's niece!"  
  
Harry just jumped up and ran back to the common room, where he saw some dude with dirty blonde hair playing the piano.  
  
"Who are you?" Harry asked as he sat down on the couch.  
  
In a flash, the blonde dude was next to Harry, pinning him back to the couch by his neck. The dude leaned in so close that he was almost kissing Harry's neck.  
  
"I'm going to give you, Harry, the choice I never had." The dude told Harry. He leaned in closer and was about to bite Harry's neck when Ron walked into the common room. The blonde dude looked up at Ron and jumped off the couch, leaving Harry unharmed.  
  
"Lestat!" Yelled the now angry red head, "What did I tell you when I left? NO ATTACKING THE BOYS!!!"  
  
Lestat looked from Ron to Harry then back to Ron, before running at the window and jumping out of it.  
  
Harry got up and ran out of the common room like a crazy person until he found the room of Requirements. He went inside, hoping to sit alone and think. Lucky for him, no one else was there. He sat in a corner and eventually fell asleep.  
  
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A/N: OK, that one was strange.. I'm telling you right now, that the next chappie won't be as funny if you haven't seen Interview with the Vampire. And, just to tell you, I don't own the lines from Interview, though some were modified. If you don't know which the lines are. sorry. 


	6. Enter the Birthday Party, Harry

A/N: OK, I forgot to tell you that I don't own the lines from The Matrix either. I also don't own Danny Elfman. He owns his wonderful, talented self. And Johnny Depp, well, if I owned him I would give him to my friends anyway. Sorry, Johnny. Danny's better. ^_^ Ah, I love this. Sitting on my computer, talking to Nurgon, typing strange stories, listening to Oingo Boingo, and for some reason thinking about Anikan. HI ANIKAN! ^_^  
  
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Chapter Six: By Pypinyea J. Goodchild  
  
Someone was shaking Harry.  
  
"Wake up, Harry.."  
  
Harry's eyes began to slowly flutter open.  
  
"The Matrix has you, Harry.."  
  
Harry began to stir.  
  
"Follow the Green Dragon.."  
  
Harry began to mumble.  
  
"KNOCK KNOCK, HARRY!"  
  
Harry sat bolt up as someone began to punch him violently.  
  
"What, what?!?!" Yelled Harry.  
  
"Don't make me probe you, Harry!"  
  
"RON! Ron.." Harry gasped, "Was that man in there trying to molest me?"  
  
"Oh, no." Said Ron, "He just wanted to suck your blood."  
  
"He wanted to WHAT!?!?"  
  
"He's a vampire, Harry. Isn't it obvious?"  
  
"No it is not, Ron, you're so hard to understand!"  
  
"Harry, Harry, Harry. Still complaining, Harry?"  
  
"Why is it that you're my best friend, Ron?"  
  
"You grow more like Ginny everyday. Soon you'll be killing ROOSTERS!"  
  
As Harry stood wondering, a man in orange walked in.  
  
"Ron," He Said.  
  
"We've got an order."  
  
"Oh really, what color?" Asked Ron.  
  
"Orange."  
  
"Orange? I don't think I have an orange one. Who would want an orange cake anyway?"  
  
Harry looked around, wondering what the man and Ron were talking about, when Ron suddenly exclaimed that he could dye his second white one and ran out the door. Harry followed him into a building where there was a big costume party with people in scary costumes with loud Oingo Boingo music playing. Harry stopped to ponder what this place was, when he lost Ron. So he wandered around aimlessly. Soon he came to a giant sign that said "Happy Birthday Danny!"  
  
Soon, someone wheeled out a giant orange birthday cake. Everyone in the room gathered around and Danny Elfman stepped up to blow out the candles. Once he did, Ron popped out of the cake in an badly dyed orange fuzzy thong.  
  
"What?!?!" Yelled Danny Elfman, "Ron Weasley!?!? I asked for Johnny Depp!"  
  
At this, everyone in the crowd began to beat Ron violently. He was quickly rushed to a muggle hospital. Harry felt so bad about this, he had to follow Ron to see if he was OK. Besides, he wanted to see the look on the nurse's faces when he was wheeled in wearing an orange fuzzy thong. And he wanted to be there to explain how Ron had gotten so hurt.  
  
Harry smiled an evil grin and ran off after the ambulance.  
  
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A/N: First Off: I greatly apologize to Mr. Elfman. I needed a random person, and my friend said to use him. I LOVE YOU'RE MUSIC! *clears throat* Anyway, I guess I apologize to Mr. Depp. If I have to..  
  
OK, the next chappies aren't written yet, so they may take a bit. Blame Nurgon, she is in charge of the next one! 


	7. Oh, My Sweet Draco!

A/N: OMG, this is really strange. Nurgon went really psycho with this. And crossovers..  
  
Disclaimer: OK, we do not own any of the similarities to Holes. heh heh. We do not own Happy Tree Friends. Mondo Mini Shows does. OMG, Happy Tree Friends..  
  
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Chapter Seven: By Nurgon Frostfire  
  
When they arrived at the hospital and took Ron passed the nurse, a bald guy in his late 50's jumps out and in front of Ron and Harry and looked at Ron.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" he said, "It's Ron Weasley! Like oh my God! You like jumped out of my friends birthday cake in a black fuzzy thong!" The bald guy sighed dreamily. Harry held back the urge to puke and ran past the guy and into the Emergency Room and threw Ron down on the operating table. Then a doctor appeared out of nowhere! He had a mask on and you could only see his scary eyes. Hey looked at Ron and spoke.  
  
"Hello Ronald" (think Hannibal from silence of the lambs) Harry walked out to the waiting room and got a cup of coffee. But while he was sitting down with his steaming cup of hot coffee, a lady suddenly screamed for no reason and ran up and down the hall way screaming, "PURPLE MONKEY HORSERADISH!" This scared Harry and he spilled his whole cup of steaming hot coffee all down his pants.  
  
The Next Day....  
  
Ron was able to leave the hospital. Harry stood off to the side, tapping his right foot in an annoyed way.  
  
"Hurry up Ron!" He called to his red headed friend who was standing and talking, or rather flirting, with the doctor.  
  
"Ok doctor. I'll see you then," Said Ron as he walked away from the doctor and back over to Harry. They both took the night bus back to Hogwarts and then went to bed in the Gryffindor boy's dorms.  
  
The next day they were awakened by the sound of a horn blaring throughout all of Hogwarts. So they all got up and got dressed in the strange orange jump suits that they had found at the foot of their beds. They walked down and out side of the school and saw Hagrid standing with Dumbledore.  
  
"Listen up y'all," Dumbledore spoke to them, "If any of ya's is wantin ta go home fer ya Christmas break, then I suggest y'all starts diggin ya holes! Everyone will dig one hold per day until Christmas break. Zat clear? GOOD! Now go!"  
  
With that the Headmaster turned and walked back inside the castle. Hagrid turned and looked them all and spoke.  
  
"Well, wut are ya all waitin around here fer? YOU'VE GOT TO GO DIG THOES HOLES!" So all the student went off to dig their own holes and by the time they had finished it was super time again.  
  
The next day when they were walking back to the great hall Draco was looking up at the clouds for some reason when he suddenly fell face first into a hole.  
  
"Hey! Someone? Anyone help me!" He screamed as loud as he could while trying to climb out of the hole, but he couldn't get out. And you know that was Friday and they didn't have to dig any holes until Monday so nobody had a reason to be outside, so Draco was out there for almost three days when finally on Monday Madam Pomfrey was walking around and looking at the holes when she saw him.  
  
"Oh my dear, what are you doing out here? You don't look too good." So she took him to the hospital wing and gave him a potion to revive him and then made him go to sleep.  
  
Later In The Great Hall...  
  
Pansy is freaking out and running from House table to house table, asking everyone if they've seen Draco. But every person she asked gave the same answer- No. She looked around the great hall and shouted, "Has anyone seen Draco!?!?" At this time she was almost crying because she couldn't find Draco and it was killing her. Ron jumped up from the Gryffindor table and looked over at the Slytherin table.  
  
"Like oh my God, Harry!!! Draco's not there! Where can he be?!"  
  
"Calm down Ron," Said Harry, who was really no help at all to Ron right now.  
  
"Calm Ron?! CALM DOWN!?!?!," Screamed the now hysterical redhead, "My Boyfriend is missing and you want me to calm down?!!? Jeez Harry now the truth comes out doesn't it?"  
  
"What the frell are you talking about?!"  
  
"You! being jealous of Draco and me. I see the way you look at him and the way he looks at you! You're sleeping with him aren't you? AREN'T YOU?!!"  
  
"No!!! Ugh! That's disgusting!" Harry fired back at Ron, then ran to the common room.  
  
Ron rushed to the Hospital wing, thinking Draco might be there and he was right!  
  
"I must see Draco!!" he said, dramatically and out of breath from running all the way there.  
  
"I'm sorry but he isn't allowed any visitors at the moment."  
  
"Wha-?" Ron started to ask but his voice cracked and he ran from the hospital wing to the Gryffindor common room where he fell on a couch and cried. "My poor Draco, he's going to die!"  
  
Ron became very depressed and suicidal. Harry had walked in on Ron when he was about to say that killing curse, and he had his wand pointed at him self.  
  
A few days later Draco was at breakfast. Ron ran over to him and hugged him very tightly.  
  
"Oh my dear Draco! I was so worried!!!"  
  
"I'm fine Ronny. No need to worry about me." He smiled and then started to sing out loud for no reason... "Lalalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalala!"  
  
He sung that stupid bloody tune about 500 times before Ron finally smacked him and asked the heck he was singing.  
  
"It's the theme song to Happy Tree Friends, a Muggle show that I watched while in the hospital wing. It's really great! There's all these cute little animals and in every episode they all die horrible nasty deaths!!!", He said and smiled wide at Ron who looked like he had just ate something sour tasting.  
  
The rest of the week consisted of Draco singing over and over.  
  
"Lalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala. Lalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala. Lalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala. Lalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala. Lalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala. Lalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala. Lalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala. Lalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala. Lalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala. Lalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala. Lalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala!"..  
  
..And Ron and everyone else telling him to shut up and smacking him in the back of the head.  
  
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A/N: Yeah, don't you think that was strange? Anyway, that description of Happy Tree Friends. that's what it really is. Any of you over in the UK might have seen it before. Well, if you haven't, you should. If you're reading this story, I know you like this kind of stuff.. Go here www.happytreefriends.com and click watch episodes. THEY'RE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! 


	8. Confusing the Computers

OMG, I'm so fulpwinizing lazy! Don't ask about the fulpwiniz thing.. You freaking fulpwiniz.. Anywho, who here has gone to see Happy Tree Friends yet!?!? If not, do it! Sorry I'm so lazy, here's the next chappie..  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing but a toothbrush and an inside out shirt.  
  
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Chapter Eight: By Pypinyea J. Goodchild (Don't y'all just love my name, though! Yeah ,the J. is a tribute to Michael J. Fox. *blows kisses*)  
  
"La la la la la la la! La la la la la la la!" And it went on and on. Draco never said anything else for weeks! Until one day he randomly said it..  
  
"We should all have nicknames!"  
  
No one really knew why he said it, but he proceeded to roam around school giving everyone strange nicknames. He told them that they were names of Happy Tree Friends. He had some issues.. Ron was Cuddles, and Harry was Flippy. Parvati was Toothy, Fred and George were Lifty and Shifty. There was Flaky and Lumpy, Hermione was Sniffles. There were many more, but all shall not be named.  
  
One day, Harry was sitting at the dinner table, talking to Hermione.  
  
"Yeah, that potions exam was probably harder for most of us though, Hermione."  
  
"Sniffles." Ron corrected him.  
  
"Oh, sorry. Yeah, Sniffles. C'mon."  
  
"Well, you see Flippy, if you had done your homework last week, you would've aced it!"  
  
"Sorry, I was too busy digging a hole."  
  
All of a sudden there was a scream from the other side of the room.  
  
"Oh my god, Toothy!" People were yelling. Everyone ran over to see Parvati, dead on the floor with something sharp through her.  
  
"What happened, Nutty?" People were asking. (A/N: OK, dudes. Get used to the nicknames. I like using them.)  
  
"An owl just swooped down and stuck it through her! I'm scarred for life! Cuddles.. Hold me!" He said, grabbing on to Ron.  
  
Over the course of the next few days, random people kept being picked off in strange ways. The population of the school was getting very small..  
  
"What do we do!?!?" Flippy (Harry) yelled to Sniffles one day while digging his hole. (A/N: Lol, dudes.. This is so weird!)  
  
"I don't know, Flip!" Sniffles yelled to him.  
  
"I can help." Came a mysterious voice from behind them. Everyone turned around in their holes.  
  
"It's a glitch in the Matrix." Said the man in the trench coat and glasses. "By giving yourselves Happy Tree Friends names, you confused the computers. So they began killing you like the Happy Tree Friends. But do you know what happens to all of them in the next episode?"  
  
Everyone looked at the man.  
  
"Um.. What?" They all muttered.  
  
"They come back!"  
  
All of a sudden, everyone who had died popped up next to him.  
  
"My name is Neo," The man said, lifting his hands as the people ran to hug their friends. "I am from the real world! I am here to help you!"  
  
soon everyone in school ditched to started to think it was cool that they could die and come back. Some said it was a sensational tingle. Everyone became very attached to Neo, who hung around to guide them. Soon they all wanted to be just like him and began wearing trench coats and sunglasses.  
  
"No, don't!" Neo yelled when there were men in glasses and suits chasing random kid. "You're confusing the Matrix! Don't be like me! The agents will get you! Nooooooooooooo!!!!"  
  
~*.*~ Somewhere far, far away.. Luke Skywalker shouts. "That's my line!" (I love that, Ani! Oh yeah, that's Ani's..) ~*.*~  
  
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A/N: OK, I'm done! It's up to Nurgon to do the next chappie.. Beware.. OK then, bye! 


	9. The Super Mixing of The Stories

A/N: OK, here it is! The next chappie! Blame me, I never got the chance to type it. Nurgon had it written out, but.. I'm lazy, OK!?!? Get over it!  
  
Disclaimer: I (Nurgon) do not own Wolf, Peter Pan, Neo, The Harry Potter characters, or Legolas (even though he is my brother *wink wink*)  
  
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Chapter Nine: By Nurgon Frostfire  
  
Everyone at Hogwarts was running around in long, black leather trench coats and black sunglasses. Neo was growing weaker and weaker until one day when he went to get out of bed he fell down and hit his head on the metal chair that had suddenly appeared there........  
  
He was slipping away..........  
  
Farther and farther, until..........  
  
He passed out.  
  
5 DAYS LATER..  
  
"He's waking up!" Said Ginny and Hermione. Neo opened his eyes to see Ron standing over him and leaning down, a little too close to his face. Draco, Ginny and Hermione were standing nearby but not as close as Ron was.  
  
Neo jumped up and ran out of the room with his hands waving around like mad screaming "THE MARTIANS HAVE LANDED!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Hermione raised and eyebrow and shook her head.  
  
LATER THAT DAY..  
  
Hermione was walking outside by the lake when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around to see a boy with curly brown hair dressed in a green outfit.  
  
"Who are you?" She asked.  
  
"Stop playing around, Wendy. It's me, Peter." He said and smiled brightly.  
  
"I'm not Wendy, I'm Hermione.. Oh my gosh! You're Peter Pan! Can I have your autograph!?!? I think you're soooooo cute!" She almost yelled because she was so excited.  
  
Peter looked around then signed the paper that Hermione held out to him then looked around quickly once more.  
  
"I, uuuuummmmmmmmmmm, have to go, bye!" He yelled back to her as he flew away. Hermione sighed dreamily and leaned back against a nearby tree. All was quiet and peaceful.  
  
Suddenly the sound of a speeding arrow was heard followed by Neo's screaming and a thud.  
  
Neo lay on the ground, motionless. A tall dude in green and brown with long blond hair ran forward out of the forest and over to Neo. He pulled the arrow out of Neo. Neo opened his eyes and locked eyes with the tall blond dude.  
  
"I'm Neo," Said Neo.  
  
The tall blonde dude said "I'm the tall blond dude. My real name is Legolas Greenleaf."  
  
For Legolas and Neo it was love at first site. After that they were always together- all the time. One day they left Hogwarts to go get married.  
  
A week later Ginny walked up to Draco in the hallway. She looked him in the eyes and said, "Draco, I'm pregnant."  
  
He looked at her in utter horror and surprise. Suddenly he said, "But Ginny, I'm gay."  
  
"I never said it was your baby!" She snapped at him and ran to the common room. Ron walked in after her and demanded to know who the father was.  
  
"If you must know, it's Wolf. Lupin's long lost cousin who isn't lost anymore." She said and smiled as Wolf entered the common room.  
  
Later, during the night, Wolf and Ginny ran away to live in the Tenth Kingdom, where wolf was from.  
  
To be continued..  
  
~*.*~~*.*~~*.*~~*.*~~*.*~~*.*~~*.*~~*.*~~*.*~~*.*~~*.*~~*.*~~*.*~  
  
A/N: Yes.. OK then. ^^ It's so strange, is it not? Hey, what can I say, two insane drama nerds who got bored last year in some class because we're so darn smart!!!! ^^ Hey, I miss middle school... Eh, band is better in high school. HI ANDY!!!! Eh, why did I just say that, not like he's reading this. Well, I'm really bored, so I'm gonna keep typing stuff to annoy you, cuz you never know if I'm gonna type something you need to know! Mwahahahaahahahahahaaa! Tiny insects everywhere. Tiny insects in my hair. Tiny insects in my pants! Watching insects make romance! Insects make me make me want to dance! Dance, dance! They make me want to dance! Dance, dance! Those insects make me want to dance!!!! *record screech* Off the Florida Keys.. There's a place called Kokomo. That's where you wanna go to get away from it all! Bodies in the sand. Tropical drink melting in your hand. We'll be falling in love to the rhythm of a steel drum band! Way down in Kokomo! Wow, I need to stop listening to Oingo Boingo and The Beach Boys over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.. When are you gonna get smart and stop reading this? C'mon, you're not this stupid, are you? OMG, leave all ready! GO AWAY! Go away and have a zippety- doo-dah day, you swear word! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA, MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE MY EYES! AAAAAAAH! These hands! I can't get them off of my wrists! Grrrrrrrrr, you are all zombie thigh fat people brought into animation by some evil force or forceful evil! OK.. No more Happy Noodle Boy for the Pipster.. AND YOU'RE STILL HERE!?!?!?!?!? Wow, you really are stupid, aren't you?  
  
Here's that important thing you need to know: I am weird and obsessed with Danny Elfman. 


End file.
